A few weeks ago
a friend of mine mentioned in
a blog post that if she were given a ring in a relationship & the relationship went sour, she'd keep it went everything was said & done. I thought this was kind of a cold move & a debate ensued.
Since I'm not the type of guy to take a loss sitting down, I want to ask the people what they think. The question is: If you were given a ring in a relationship, would you give it back if the relationship ended?
On the one hand,
no pun intended, you could keep it. The ring was given to you as a gift & it now belongs to you. No one has the right to ask you to give back something that they gave you as a gift. They'll probably just sell it or re-gift it to someone else. Additionally, such logic dictates that birthday gifts & random trinkets of affection would have to go back too. Obviously no one returns every item exchanged in a relationship if it fails, so all gifts should just stay where they are & both parties should just move on. A dude shouldn't be a baby & should just accept that it's over & that he can't change things. It's too late to undo actions & the ring is already gone.
BOOM! Deal with it.
(Believe me; her points were dope. Hopefully, I'm doing her some justice with this paragraph. It was two weeks ago, so blame my memory if I'm leaving stuff out.)
The other side of the debate involves giving back the ring. Here, it seems that the ring isn't just a gift; it's a symbol. The ring was given assuming you had a future together & if this future goes up in smoke, the symbol isn't necessary anymore. Why would you even need it? If "we" don't mean anything anymore, then neither should it. Therefore, give it back & then both parties can go their separate ways. If the dude is a lame, then maybe he will use it again
, but that's a different debate that'll end in me saying "Who told you to date a douchebag in the first place?" If he does though, why should you care? You're aren't an item anymore, so "
let it burn".
Now, you get to voice where you stand in all of this. Should the ring be returned or not? There's no right or wrong answer
, although I've been told I'm wrong numerous times. What do YOU think?
In my opinion, the first argument was what I had in mind. That the girl should keep it and for those very reasons; that it was a gift to her. And since you don't take gifts back from people, you shouldn't take the ring back. Just as your friend said.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the second argument makes sense, too. And I would see why some people would follow that choice.
But the thing is the real object that symbolizes the future in the marriage is not the engagement ring, it's the wedding ring. The wedding ring is the ring in which you make the vow to spend the rest of your life/forever with someone. Not the engagement ring. The engagement ring is given to the person...in a sense as a gift.
Just my two cents. ;)